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And I Love Her (On A Love Letter to my Body)


This is a letter for the SheLoves synchroblog. Read it, and maybe write your own too?

"I give her all my love. That's all I do. And if you saw my love. You'd love her too. I love her" - - The Beatles

Dear Body –

Let’s just put this out there right now. I’ve never really liked you. I remember you at 9 or 10, following in the footsteps of big sisters with big sister bodies … and you didn’t look like them.

Then, when 11 hit and you started the path to womanhood, even then, I did not like you. I felt like you’d stolen my childhood … pushed me into responsibility that I wasn’t ready for yet.

Then at 15, when the weight started to creep on, I ran laps around the band practice field, twirled the baton to the beat of the drum, and somehow kept the fat from collecting on my hips and thighs.

But at 21 … when I got married. I wasn’t skinny. I wanted to be … but I never could make the diets and fads work. Sure, I’d lost a few pounds, but you were stubborn and, let's be honest, I really didn’t want to work hard.

Then at 26, I wanted to get pregnant. I thought with my large hips and curvy build that birthing babies would be what my body was made for … by 28 you still hadn’t come through for me. With the advances of modern medicine you finally let me give birth …  but not the “natural” way.

But, still. When I haven't liked you ... I have wanted to love you. Even though we’ve had a hard go at it. I want to look in the mirror and respect you for the half marathon you got me through. For the high-risk pregnancy that finally delivered a baby boy. I want to admire you for the hourglass shape that you have. I want to embrace the curves and the softness.

And, I do have to thank you for the places you did not fail me. You let me nourish my son with the milk that could have possibly saved his life. When my husband looks at you .. he desires you … so you must have done something right.

Do I love you body? I’m not sure yet. But I do know this. You were wonderfully and fearfully made. I believe, you possess somewhere in you, the image of the almighty God. And if I love God, then I must love you. For to know you, should be to know God. For, when God created us, male & female, God created us, he created YOU. God spun a tale of history in your calloused hands and your big calves. God looks at you, oh body, and delights, God says, "It is good."

If I give God all my love, then I must give you, my body, some of my love too. So, I will love you, not because you are perfect, but because God is perfect ... Yes, it's true, I may not have liked you ... but I'm going to do my best to love you.

Comments

Meg said…
Thank you Mary. We're all on a journey with our bodies, and I am honored to share in a piece of yours.

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