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I'm a loser ... and not in a good way

No theme. No song. Just me admitting to you that I stepped off the wagon, BIG time.
Weight
I am steady at 192 .. I need to lose at least 40 lbs by next June, I'd really like to lose 50. I can not be fat in Hawaii. If I'd stayed on plan I'd only be about 20 lbs away by now ... but now I still have my big goal in front of me.
1/2 Marathon Training
I'm only running about once a week. However, I'm really proud of my progress there at least. I'm up to running (or jogging) without stopping for 25 minutes. That's most of a 5k for me, so that's pretty exciting. However, I've got to get going on the longer runs, I've only done 5 miles twice and by this point I need to be doing 7 or 8 miles total.
What Happened?
I don't want to make excuses but a lot of it is time related. Work has been busy, school is always looming in the background behind being a wife and mom. But, I know, in the end that none of those are really good enough reasons. I need to find a …

Hawaii 5-0 Week 3 & 4

I'm too tired to find a Beatles song ... I had one then realized I'd just used it. You get the point. :)


Sorry I let you all down last week and didn't get around to posting an update. I guess that's why I decided to stay the same for this week (so I lost 1.4 last week). Yeah, me not posting had nothing to do with the fact that last week I tracked horribly, only ran once, and ate Wendy's, I believe, 3 times.

I let myself down. Thankfully, I fixed it enough to not have a gain and I'm back on the right track again today. I know these ups and downs are going to happen, but I've got to be super on track this week because this is wrapping up my first month of losing weight again and I'm only down 3.8 lbs for the last three weeks. That's less than two pounds a week and that's not going to cut it if I'm going to make it through vacation, holidays, and birthdays!

Last week I let myself down. This week, I'm just going to pick myself up and just keep …

Don't Let Me Down (On Babywearing)

I'm in love for the first time. Don't you know it's gonna last. It's a love that lasts forever, It's a love that has no past. Don't let me down, don't let me down. 
-- Don't Let Me Down, The Beatles
I had no idea before I met you how much of a "crunchy" Mom I'd be. Before I knew you were on the way I knew nothing of slings and cloth diapers and breastfeeding. I just knew that I couldn't wait to be your Mom.
But, the minute I saw you I knew I couldn't put you down. So, when Dr. Sears said, "Wear your Baby," I decided that I wanted to do just that. I got a bright orange Moby Wrap and learned how to manipulate the fabric so that I could hold you close. Fittingly enough it was called the "kangaroo hold" and it made a little pouch for your sweet little bottom to snuggle into. It was so special.
And, as you grew, I realized that I loved having you close at hand while I worked from home (or in the office) and I learned how…

I'm Looking Through You (Hawaii 5-0 Week 2)

"I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same"
-- I'm Looking Through You, The Beatles



Well, this was a pretty good week for the challenge! As you can see by the graphic I lost 2.4 pounds this week, and that is with going to North Carolina for a Labor Day weekend trip to see friends.

I have to say I'm really proud of myself. I managed to also get my three runs in and so I'm on track for training for the 1/2 Marathon.

For this post I decided to use the lyrics from "I'm Looking Through You" because I really do feel like this time, I've really changed. I actually feel GOOD about trying to lose weight and exercising. It just seems that my mindset has totally changed and now I'm in a place where I know that I can am going to pull this off and lose for good! So, to motivate myself even further, I found a t-shirt t…

Hawaii 5-0 (Mom @ 15 Months Post-Partum)

She's so heavy. She's so heavy, heavy, heavy.
— I Want You (She's So Heavy), The Beatles


Here's the blog post that I really didn't want to write, but it needs to be done. So here it is: I'm fat. Or as The Beatles sang

"She's so HEAVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV-Y."

I'd like to blame it all on getting pregnant and then the whole new mother, not paying attention, stuff that happens, but to be honest, I was fat before I got pregnant. I had let me weight creep up and up and up until when I did get pregnant I started out at an unhealthy weight. To be honest, it has been because I just didn't want to pay attention to it all. Since having Jude I have been wanting to lose all of the weight, but would get motivated and then lose motivation back and forth until I just ended up maintaining. So here's some background.

When I got pregnant with Jude I was 180. That's 40 lbs over my healthy weight range. At that point my thought was, "Well, I'm g…

Golden Slumbers (On God & Jude @ 15 Months)

Golden slumbers fill your eyes. Smiles awake you when you rise. Sleep pretty darling do not cry. And I will sing a lullabye.— Golden Slumbers, The Beatles



My child does not sleep. He’s a sweet little 15-month-old who thinks sleeping through the night is for wimps. In fact, in his little mind, it’s not even necessary. I have read every book, asked seasoned parents, and even thought about just letting him cry-it-out, alone in his room, but nothing seems to work. Our bedtime routine happens like this: Dinner time at 5:30, it’s usually something yummy like green beans with turkey or mashed potatoes with ham, followed by a tall glass of milk and maybe some yogurt for dessert. After filling his cute little tummy, it’s on to bath time where we sink a thousand rubber duckys into a pool of bubbles while dumping cups of water out of the tub onto the tile. Then it’s off to the nursery where we read “Goodnight Moon,” sing a special lullaby, and begin the rocking to sleep. Now, all the parenting e…

Don't Ever Change (or Jude at 14 Months)

So, please, don't ever change -- No, don't you ever change -- Just, promise me you're always gonna be -- As sweet as you are -- I love you when you're happy -- I love you when you're blue -- I love you when you're mad at me -- So how can I get tired of you? — Don't Ever Change, The Beatles

Today is my birthday. No, I didn't get around to writing about how special my baby boy is on his first birthday, but it's after midnight on what is now, my 29th birthday, and I couldn't be happier when it comes to being a mommy to my perfect little Jude.

The other night, as Jude's Dad and I were putting him to bed, Dad said, "Don't ever change," and I said, "Yes son, please be like we used to write in our high school yearbooks, 'Stay sweet, don't ever change.'" Although I'm glad I've changed since I penned those words in the blank pages of my peers annuals, I have to say that I really do wish that Jude wouldn't…

Jude's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 1st Birthday (A Party Blog)

"The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse ... Come inside, it's fun inside!"


No Beatles song here ... this time it's all about the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse! We celebrated Jude's Hot Diggity Dog 1st Birthday Party on May 29, 2011 and we had a fantastic time!

We did the big event in Arkansas, so that took a little planning on my part since we were all the way down in Florida, but overall I think it went over pretty well. I rented a pavillon at Lake Degray and it was simply beautiful!

I Googled many party blogs for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and came across lots of ideas. I decided for us I wanted to do something kind of laid back but still with an overall theme. So, the first thing to decide was the food. Of course, we had to have hot dogs, but what else would work. I like the idea of alliteration for each food so we went with the foods below.


ClaraBell's Cupcakes. I'd like to tell you I made them ... but I didn't! It was Memorial Day Weekend, so I wanted to sort of tie-in the…

Mother Nature's Son (Jude @ 9 Months)

"Born a poor young country boy — Mother Nature's son. All day long I'm sitting singing songs for everyone. Sit beside a mountain stream — see her waters rise. Listen to the pretty sound of music as she flies. Find me in my field of grass — Mother Nature's son. Swaying daises sing a lazy song beneath the sun. Mother Nature's son."
— Mother Nature's Son, The Beatles

He's so curious, this son of mine. Busy, busy, busy as he crawls around the room, pulling books from the bottom shelf one at a time. It's as if he's asking, "And what's this Mommy?" As he flips the pages and crinkles the words he isn't able to read yet.

This passion in his eyes. Passion I recognize from my own heart, being played out in a child that looks like his father but acts so much like his mother. His Daddy worries that he's too hyper ... this makes me laugh. Apparently the husband never noticed how curious his wife can be!

I can't wait to take him more …

All You Need is Love (Jude @ 8 Months)

"There's nothing you can do that can't be done.Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the gameIt's easy.There's nothing you can make that can't be made.No one you can save that can't be saved.Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be youin time - It's easy." All You Need is Love -- The Beatles

His smile is contagious! Every time I look at him he's grinning ear to ear. I stop, stare for a minute ... he starts to laugh. This is the joy of my baby boy. This is the one who makes my world go 'round. Maybe I've made some mistakes in the past, worked too long of hours at work, didn't prioritize enough to get home before his bedtime ... but he doesn't care. He just smiles and smiles and smiles. Because Mommy is home.

He reaches for me now, when he's smiling and when he's crying. It's such a weird feeling, this feeling of being needed, wanted, by someone so small and …